Darth Elevador script

Rhetorical Situation: I'm stuck in an elevator with Dave Chapelle at the Laugh Factory in LA, and my goal is to convince him of returning back into the public spotlight.

Hey Dave, my name is Kyle Ignatius.  I have been an avid fan for sometime of your comedy.  Your absence from Comedy Central has left a void in my life.  No longer can I laugh at your obscene humor, such as your True Hollywood skits with Charlie Murphy and Rick James.  I respect that you took a stand against the corporate mongrels at Comedy Central, but America needs you back.  I know you have an upcoming HBO special, which will show some stand up comedy, but we are in dire of more.  Just think of all the current events happening that you can make fun of like Donald Trump's candidacy, the debacle that is police cruelty, Hillary Clinton.   Since your departure from the public spotlight the world has seen numerous new avenues arise for entertainment, such as Youtube.  Why don't you make your own Youtube channel.  The cost would be cheap, the content is entirely up to you, and the advertisement money you can make is insane.  Felix Kjellburg is some random guy who literally just makes ludicrous comments while watching people play video games,  he made 7.4$ million dollars last year and has 37 million followers. A women who opens new Disney toys under the alias DisneycollectorBR "earned" 20 million dollars last year, and she doesn't even show her face.   Imagine what you could do with your already cult-like following.  You can air one skit a week, and I promise you that you will have millions of people watching you.  At your most current show at Pabst Theater in Milwaukee you received raving reviews saying that you were in "peak form" you obviously still got it Recently, you partnered with Yondr, which is a company that locks your cell phone to use at your shows to stop leaked content.  Take back control of your jokes by creating this medium for your fans.  Bring your humor and wit back into the lives of the millions of Americans who crave for your return, like Tyronn Biggums craves Crack.  You may not miss the world, but we miss you Dave.  You once said "You can become famous but you can't become unfamous. You can become infamous but not unfamous" This is your chance Dave to become infamous and to permanently etch your name in humor lore by changing the landscape of the humor business. 

  I was born in Baltimore, Maryland then moved to Minnesota when I was 6 years old.  At first I went to school at the University of Kansas but due to some poor decision-making transferred to SBCC.  I am majoring in Communication and plan on transferring to UCSB next fall.  Also,  I work at the restaurant Sambos.  In my free time I enjoy playing sports, reading, and music.